May. 5th, 2014

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I struggled this weekend. I met a bunch of new people - mostly men in their early-late 20's in a hostel in Seoul.

The conversation they were having when I met them was about where clubbing that night should happen.  The criteria, and the ease with which they discussed the criteria really disturbed me.  To the point where my contribution to the conversation was basically - "Do you have any idea how rapey you sound right now?".

The gist of the conversation was this: They'd been out the night before and been unable to get any further with Korean girls than a little light kissing, before either security stepped in or the girl's friends circled round and took her away.  Their solution to this 'problem' was that they needed to go to a smaller club with less security.  Thus my "RAPEY ASSHOLES" response.

What scared me the most was that they literally couldn't see that their conversation  -  which I boiled down to "Korean girls tell me no, so my solution is to go to places where Korean girls have no backup or support when they tell me no (so I can continue to do whatever the fuck I want)" - was in any way weird or wrong.  I saw creepy exoticism and extremely rapey ideas.  They thought they were doing some kind of cultural exchange with their dicks.

And when they kept striking out, a couple tried flirting with me.  Which... gross, honestly.  They already knew I thought they were rapey. What on earth did they think I would find attractive about them? At least they could hear and understand my 'no' without me having to physically enforce it or ask for help from the bouncers.  Yay for cultural 'no' similarity.

According to them, I wasn't used to horny 20-somethings.  According to me, I'm not used to horny 20-somethings who have absolutely no comprehension of consent.

What I felt most though, was frustration. Frustration that they couldn't hear themselves from my point of view. Frustration that they were so insensitive to other human beings (especially women) that they can't read a 'no' from body language.  And major, major frustration that there were NO men in the group of 7 who could see the consent issue and how creepy they sounded.

Links and stuff

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San Diego - ComicCon.  Zoo.

New York - Broadway.  Paddle tours ( Book -  Outdoors New York -  Museum of sex.  Central park.

Boston - marathon route, trails along Mystic River, Children's Museum, boston symphony orchestra, NEOC (but it looks like no events over summer -

Accom Boston
Hostelling International Boston -  Staying on a tall ship -  Reasonable location, private rooms, brekkie included -  2-bed apartments for hippies in the historic district (?), minimum 3-night stay -

Transport Boston -


Dec. 28th, 2013

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1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?
Spoke Spanish, got a TEFL qualification, rented an apartment overseas, bought a one-way plane ticket from Australia, relied on Facebook to stay in touch with people, fell madly/hopelessly in love with baseball, played lacrosse and scored a couple of goals, swam to Rottnest as part of a team.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Don't do the New Years resolution thing.  But I'm still steadily working towards the goals I have and will undoubtedly come up with more as the time becomes right.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Not this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die? My grandfather on Dad's side.

5. What countries did you visit? USA, Mexico

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013? Um - probably some more companionship around my own age and with similar interests.  I still want to track Katy Desmond down and make her like me by any means I can.

7.  What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 11 March - State election and the bizarre feeling of rejection, even though I know it wasn't about Alison or our work. 20 May - end of job. 23 June - not allowed to fly. 25 June - leaving Australia, 26 June - driving past the Redondo Beach sign on the 405 at 80mph feeling giddy and delighted and amazed, 4 July - Boston Harbour fireworks, 12 September - leave USA, 04 November - start Tour de Liga Mexicana del Pacifico.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Travelling the Pacific Coast of Mexico on my own, I think. But I'm right where I want to be, doing what I want to do, so it's hard to pick any one thing.

9. What was your biggest failure?  The difficulty I'm having getting stuff posted to Australia from here.  It's unbelievably difficult!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Very, very sick in Ciudad Obregon - failed at getting to Navojoa due to being unable to move.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Ticket to Mexico.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?   My parents and their kick-ass motorcycle tour of the USA.

13.  Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Actually last year's answer of Tony Abbott and the hate cabal is still true - and if anything they're even worse in 2013 with some power to their bad decisions.

14. Where did most of your money go?  TRAVEL!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? TRAVEL!  And also the Red Sox winning the World Series and the Bruins being awesome and Perth Thunder and Perth Heat.

16.  What song will always remind you of 2013? Blurred Lines and Radioactive were getting smashed on the radio in LA, so they will always be linked to the feeling of OMG I am really doing this.  Other than that, pretty much any kind of Banda will remind me of 2013.  Plus, of course, road trip power ballads ;-)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?  Really, substantially happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? A bit thinner I think.  Hard to tell with the amount of winter clothes I'm wearing.
iii. richer or poorer? Massively poorer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Err - written more blog.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Drinking shitty Mexican beer.

20. How did you spend Christmas?  Tirolesa (ziplining) in the Barrancas del Cobre Parque de Aventura.  And the general period in Creel, riding horses, hiking, living the high-mountains life.

21. Who did you meet for the first time?  A metric shit tonne of new people, but stand-outs were Mel, Morgan, Kath, Lori, Matt, Jess and Corey.

22. Did you fall in love in 2013?   Managed to dodge it by the skin of my teeth.

23.  How many one-night stands? Five. I distrust the overtures made by significantly younger men, or this number would be substantially higher.

24. What was your favourite TV program?  My love for Teen Wolf is ridiculous.  Completely, bat shit insane.  And still going.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Nup.

26. What was the best book you read? Hunger Games.

26a. Favourite fanfiction story? I've read a huge amount of fic this year, but while I've enjoyed a lot of it, nothing really stands out enough to remember the title.  Recently, the one where Stiles activates a 'desperate-times' device and gets into an alternate universe with no Hale House fire and Laura wants to keep him like a stray cat is probably my comfort re-read.  Whatever it's called.

26b. Favourite vid?

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Banda and Nortena.

28. What did you want and get? BOSTON!

29. What did you want and not get?  Kind of also Boston.  Since I'm not there anymore.

30. What was your favorite film of the year? Gravity. Despite the flaws, definitely the best thing I've seen this year.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was 37 and I went for a 4 hour walk in the last autumn sunshine, bought myself the Perth Heat Hat of Baseball Happiness and had dinner with my family.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If I were to try for realism, being able to consistently run sub-6min/km.  This is probably going to be on my list for life.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?  Is it clean?

34. What kept you sane? Knowing that I was going travelling.  Then, travelling.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?  Pretty much down to Tyler Hoechlin this year.  And still feel oh-so-very-guilty about it.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Funding cuts to everything related to climate change in Australia

37. Who did you miss? Pretty much everybody in Perth.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013?  I'm actually quite pretty.

39. Something new that worked out really well for you during the year?  Open mouth and try speaking Spanish.

40. Most useful piece of advice or comment I received:  Nothing in particular, but my parents' rock-steady support for doing something that's pretty unusual for my age group has been unbelievably awesome.


I'm not really here...

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Personally, I'm over on facebook under my real name. Fannishly, I'm 'live' on Twitter under @cricketkay and far, far more static at the AO3 as cricketk.

Currently I'm being the boring kind of baseball fan, hockey RPF-adjacent, Teen Wolf-obsessed and deeply in love with podfic.

Posted via LjBeetle

Trip plans

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Having now sold all my stuff, rented my house out and become redundant, I am mere weeks away from embarking on my Solo World Tour of Indeterminate Length.

The plan so far is to leave Perth around the 23 of June to go to Auckland and spend some a couple of days snuggling the new babies and catching up with as many of the Aunts as I can.  From there it's a week based in Huntington Beach for a surfing lesson, a bike ride through the canyons out of Irvine (this one -, a paddle in the Newport Beach Back Bay, an Angels game and some chill-out time doing thins that seem low-effort and fun.  Aiming for couchsurfing accommodation or AirBnB.

Then it's off to Boston with a firm desire to be there by the time of 4th of July rolls around.  I'm planning at least 2 months in Boston and have been spending a huge amount of time trying to acquire a two-month (July/August) sub-lease via Craigslist.  I can't even tell you I'm having a bad experience with Craigslist because it would give you some sense that anything other than me sending out hopeful, friendly (hopefully) funny emails is happening.

However, once in Boston I plan to do all the touristy-things, but I am also hoping to try and get involved with the Boston Light Swim in some capacity (even if it's just cheering people off the beach), get up to Walden Pond and go for a swim, go see how pretty Vermont REALLY is, duck over to Minnesota to see a game at Target Field, crash a couple of the New York days of my parents 40th wedding anniversary extravaganza and generally just aim to be in a community-minded outdoorsy area of Boston doing stuff and going to things.

After Boston it's either back to the West Coast to catch up with Karen and Dave and do the Burning Man thing again, followed by another couple of days in Washington DC (probably spent moping around near the Australian Embassy begging them to employ me) and then on to London for a quick catch-up with friends, maybe off to Edinburgh or maybe not, probably Prague or Vienna, probably Hong Kong and then to Thailand for a good six months to get my TEFL qualification and some experience teaching English and getting ready to pursue China jobs for the 2014-15 academic year.

Aim is to pick up some Mandarin and some cultural literacy and add it to my research/analysis/policy/speech-writing skill-set and see if I can get an interesting job somewhere in the English-speaking world.

So that's the plan - I like it and I can't wait to get on with it!


Mar. 7th, 2013

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A thing I did today that kind of horrified and amazed me - I bought two pairs of jeans, because I looked at how difficult it was going to be to try them on, realised they were only $7 a pair and bought the two most likely sizes.
Only $7 a pair.  I just participated in the near-slavery of Bangladeshi children, I'm sure.
I bought two pairs of jeans rather than bother to try them on.  That is such an insane level of wealthy privelege I don't even know what to do except be horrified.

Teen Wolf Letters

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Oh my gosh I am LOVING the #teenwolfletters tag on Tumblr. They are sweet and funny and gorgeous and kind of self-consciously ridiculous. I'm pretty sure that part of what I'm finding charming about them is just plain old "how we talk on tumblr" - but that in no way impacts upon my delight

My favourite so far  (to Dylan O'Brien) included the immortal lines - "In complete honesty, I doubt that we will ever get married, even though that is my dying wish. But its cool, I understand."

I also liked this one (to Tyler Hoechlin) - "First of all, your face-how does it work?"

Open Water Swimming

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So. Open water swimming is a thing that I do now.  Not well, yet.  But I do it.

I have now done 3 races - at 1.6km, 1.8km and 1.25km.  I got badly stung at the first race, only got one sting, but it was a doozy at the second and lots and lots of stinger rash at the third, but it appeared that my anti-stinger actions had been pretty successful over all.

Apart from the stingers, I really, really like swimming in the ocean.  It is so much more comfortable than pool swimming and I absolutely love not having to turn around.  The shortest of the three swims was the hardest, as there were so many stingers in the water I didn't want to put my face in and I couldn't relax into the water, so my body position was all wrong and it took me much longer to get around than it should.

Looking foward to doing the next one!

Teen Wolf Search for a Cure

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On YouTube instead of IP-blocked MTV huzzah! and so on.

Le Reve "in the direction of"

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One of my swimming buddies is a Le Reve consultant, so I have acquired yet another stash of samples.  Le Reve do mid-price perfumes similar to popular perfumes, which is a bit of a flag for me, given that I have really been finding that my preferences run towards the skanky rather than than the fruit and sugar bombs currently so popular.

M10 - Paco Rabanne's 1 Million.  I actually liked this better than I thought I would.  I remember Lady Million as being ultra-sweet - butterscotch, honey and vanilla.  This was still a bit sweet for me overall, but pretty good. Lovely fresh start with grapefruit and roses, fading out to a gently spicy floral leather with some hints of amber. Pleasant. Still a little heavy for me - would have liked just a little more grass/hay/herbs in it to lighten it up.

Y03 - Katy Perry's Purr. - loved the joyful springy start - apples and freesias and chemical peach and green leaves and a hint of flowers. Got sweeter and fruitier (and by my standards less charming) as it went along and dried out to a pleasant too-sweet vanilla musk. Could definitely be a winner for someone younger. Would have preferred less fruit, personally, but I think all of the celeb and celeb-inspired things will make me feel like I've been rolling about in fruit-salad. This was a substantially happier place for me than Y12.

Y12 - Rhianna's Reb'l Fleur.  This was labelled as 'fruity chypre'.  What I've got is a sugarbomb of coconut and vanilla with a hint of tuberose and red cordial.  There's nothing chypre about this at all in the first hour.  Waiting to see if anything resembling a chypre-ish green/woodsy/bitter comes through for the length of time I can bea to smell like this.  Final word - No holds barred tropical punch-your-lights-out.

D2 - Coco Mademoiselle - was not a huge fan of the start - way too much jasmine and alcohol, which on my skin translates to a watery/nervous smell. Evened out to a pleasantly spicy rose/iris and patchouli over white musk. Enjoyed the dry-down as well, a lovely defanged patchouli. Will wear again, mostly for the drydown. The rose and patch heart is a pretty familiar scent.

D7 - L'eau D'Issey - Melon. Lots and lots of sweet rockmelon, a little citrus, evening out to a pretty nice sandalwood base. Fruity fruit salad. Not for me, but I did enjoy the summery golden tones in the heart of it.

Will update as I try more.


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